Hide and Seek in Couples

By Richard FayNov 1^st 2018Postsconflict, counselling, couples, fighting, communication, relationship, hide and seek, hearing, resolution

In the following article by relationship counsellor David Cluff, the ways that couples get stuck in conflict are explored, and a way out of it is offered. Practical examples are offered for any couple (or couples counsellor) to consider.Research reflects that 7% of communication relates to the actual words spoken.(Mehrabian & Wiener, 1967 and Mehrabian & Ferris, 1967)….

Reversal Learning

By Richard FayFeb 23^rd 2017Postsmindfulness, conflict, relationships, couples, marriage, reversal learning, neuroscience, connection, living contemplatively, partner

What’s reversal learning? I hear you ask. It’s a pretty important mechanism that I need to work in my brain, as I discovered a couple of night’s ago. I arrived home at 10.30pm after a very long day, which was preceded by an even longer day (it ended at 1.30am). My wife, who lectures, is in orientation week at…

Dealing with Difficult Men

By Richard FayDec 3^rd 2015Postsmen's group, conflict, resource

You find a group of men who are safe, real, vulnerable. They get it, they hear you, and you hear them. Ah, you think, eureka I have found it, the utopia of broken allowed to be. You breathe out, relax, feel like at last you can peel away all vestiges of the mask.And about then it happens. Mike…

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