Posts by Richard Fay

Richard is the CEO of the Centre for Men, has a background as a pastor and spent many years in the corporate sector. He has a masters in counselling and a diploma in ministry, and has a heart to champion men, women, marriages and families. Richard is married to his wife Judy and has three sons.

Skin Hungry

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Recently, I saw a video of a panel of men responding to questions from women about what men wished women knew. At the end, a woman asked “why is my husband so crazy about sex?”One man on the panel gave the most insightful answer I have ever heard on the topic. He said “your husband isn’t crazy about…

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Invisible Means of Support

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While driving around a frosty New Zealand landscape last year, I listened to a podcast interview with Richard Rohr. He said that he fears we are on the verge of a tsunami of baby boomer men who will contemplate suicide as their performance-driven, individualistic lives reach the inevitable powerlessness of old age. It’s a stage of life that…

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In Significance

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Significance is vital for a young person. It’s an essential desire that causes us to bring our best into the world. This significance was never intended to be individualistic, but interconnected. The elders would take the boys out of the village, fill both their pockets with dirt, and then get them to gaze at the stars as they felt the…

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The male journey and its perils: A BBQ night for all men on Monday 11 June

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The opening lines of Dante Alighieri’s 13th century masterpiece The Divine Comedy read: “In the middle of the road of my life I awoke in a dark wood, where the true way was wholly lost.”This is the great (yet often terrifying) invitation of a man’s life, and our society – and organised religion – offer few answers.On Monday…

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True Self False Self: Discovering our core identity

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The False SelfThere is a version you that you identify with as who you actually are, but it is a complete fiction. It doesn’t actually exist, except within your mind. This is the place of universal addiction, the self-referential, self-defending, self-promoting, self-defeating, self-condemning, endlessly relating-to-everything-from-yourself-as-the-reference-point story you started writing from the first moment you experienced your first flash…

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It’s Friday, and then it’s Saturday. Forget about Sunday.

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There’s this famous sermon by African American preacher S.M. Lockridge that evangelical Christianity took and ran with a few decades ago: “It’s Friday but Sunday’s coming”. Yes, things are dark and bleak, but it’s going to change, this is not the permanent state of affairs.It is a stirring sermon and I want to say at the outset that…

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You are going to die…

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This blog was written by Martin, a member of a Centre for Men-supported group in Melbourne, Victoria. His own reflection on one of the five promises of male initiation creates healthy space for discussion.When the tenth doctor dies in the Doctor Who TV series, his final words were simply, “I don’t want to go.” It seems absurd mentioning Doctor…

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The Hero’s Journey

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Shakespeare’s words from Macbeth remind us of the journey towards futility that many men find themselves in mid-life:To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,Creeps in this petty pace from day to dayTo the last syllable of recorded time,And all our yesterdays have lighted foolsThe way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor playerThat struts…

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